Rim width for gravel

[emotive]

....I also would have liked wider external...something like 40mm instead of 36 ....

One unexpected con is my setup catches crosswinds more often. I think it's because the rim (45mm) and tire (47mm) total about 92mm...

Running a 47mm WAM tyre on a 36mm WAM rim and a combined 92mm deep system will certainly catch the side winds. A gravel tyre with a WAM of 40-42 would be more stable in crosswinds.