The stupidest thing you've heard at a bike shop...

Questions about bike hire abroad and everything light bike related. No off-topic chat please

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Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:49 am
Location: Mallorca, Spain

by Leviathan

So Ive got some clients renting some E-bikes and the guy from the bike shop (good shop, in fact) cant find my hotel.

I call him (he only speaks German), to tell him where the hotel is

me: "my hotel is on the main Campanet to Selva road"
him: "I dont know where that is"
me "where are you?"
him¨"Pollenca . [about 10 mins away from us]. "But Im from Frankfurt, I know my way around there pretty well, just not Mallorca"
me "no worries, its the main cycling access road up to the climb of xxx."
Him" oh, I dont ride"
me: OK, let me talk to the guy who services the bikes"
him "I service the bikes"

glad Im not riding them...

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Joined: Fri May 25, 2007 6:43 pm
Location: The Grim North.

by mattr

Not quite a bike shop, but most of what Velonista seems to be posting would fit nicely in on this thread.........

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Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:37 pm

by metal

Went into a shop when visiting a nearby city. Was at the time weighting up getting a c59 frameset, and although all the geometry is available online, wanted to double check C-T of the seat tube, as from the graphic online, it looked like it went to the bottom of the seat clamp instead of the top of the seatclamp.

Only wanted this measurement just for seatpost selection, as I wanted classic geometry, and wanted to get it all proportionally to 'look right'. Also wanted to double check headtube length, with also checking top cap measurement (as I wanted to go with a -17 stem to complete the classic looks).

Anyway, walked into this boutique store, asking to have a look at one of the frames. Asked if I could use my dressmakers tape measure, to measure the dimension I wanted to check.

Guy, goes, 'what do you need that for'. I say, 'just need to check because i'm planning on building a bike based on this frameset, and I want to get the size right'.

At this point, he looked at me stupid, and I realised I had said something stupid, as he didn't understand why I would want the measurement. So he says, 'do your reach and stack'. And i'm like, 'no, not offhand, but that doesn't matter anyway. I'm using the geometry chart online, I know what size frame i'm after'.

He then proceeded to tell me 'oh, they are unreliable, you need to be fitted', 'here jump on this bike, and see how it feels'.

Now that was funny... Colnago producing $5000 framesets, and their own online geometry chart is _wrong_? LOL :) It was thus my turn to look at him like he was stupid. :P

Anyway, jumped on the 48 sloping that was set up on a trainer, and had a quick pedal in sneakers.

'see', he says, 'that's probably the right size'...

I'm 5'11... and the bike had about a 10cm stem, and compact bars. It was essentially 2 sizes too small, though, I reckon I could get on a 50s with a 13cm -6 stem and classic drop bars.

I was like, 'err, yeah ok, but I think I just want to check the 2 measurements i'm after'.

At this point, he finally just let me do a quick measure, and I was done.

Talked for a while longer, then I made my getaway :)

I know now I won't be getting a c59 now due to it being replaced by the c60, and with it's pressfit bb, I won't be buying one.

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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:01 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

by gravity

Tinea Pedis wrote:Did you offer to pay for their time?

From where I live, it's always expected to pay for any services. That goes without saying actually. Also i was planning to buy some tubes and CO2 but with that poor treatment, I'll better spend somewhere else.

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Joined: Fri Jan 31, 2014 4:54 pm

by ToffieBoi

Not the stupidest thing but the stupidest service I got here, when I wasn't experienced much.

I had a Bontrager Race Lite Aero wheelset with one broken spoke. I went to Trek Turkey's main shop, here in Istanbul to make it repaired, since they are the distributor and can give good service.

I entered the shop and found someone. Told them that;
-I have a bontrager wheelset with broken spoke.
=where is your bike?
-I have a wheelset with broken spoke. What you will do with my bike?
=we can't give free service without the bike
-I don't want free service. I want new spoke for my wheel
=ok so you have to pay
-I know I have to pay, but how much?
=we don't have our mechanic here yet, so I can't tell you the price
-OK so I am leaving the wheels, but please call me before fixing it. I don't want you to fix it without telling me the details.

I decided to check Trek bikes for a while before I leave.

Guy was with me, and I was looking and aluminium Trek with 105 or Tiagra groupset;
-What's the price?
=(something ridiculously overpriced)
-Wow, Okay.
=This bike is blablabla. It has blablabla. It will make you climb like Lance on the climbs (that time he was "clean")
-How it is possible?
=Bottom bracket blablabla, shifters blablabla
-I have Ultegra group on my carbon Specialized, it doesn't make me climb like this.
=Yes, but this bike will do it...
I gave them my contact and ran away as fast as I can.

In a week, they called me back and told that wheelset is ready.
I asked them the price and others, and it was around $25 that time. Not bad for truing and new spoke.

I said okay and went to shop to pick the wheels.

First thing was; the spoke they put was rounded. Not bladed like original. I asked them rimtape too but there was electrical tape instead. But wheelset looked true, so I just wanted to ran away after all...
I put the wheeels on my bike, and it wasn't centered!
Wheel was 2cm on the left! I still have the scar on my frame...
After I wanted to change the electrical tape to veloplugs, Second shock! They didn't use internal nipple, but it was regular nipple with a washer on it instead.

Anyways, it was the last time I went a bike shop for mechanic help. Since then I am collecting all the required tools to my garage, so I will neither listen their rubbish nor watch they destroy my bike.

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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:01 am
Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

by gravity

"You look like you've gained some weights"

Luckily he's a friend.


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Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 10:11 pm

by Oswald

I worked in bikestores for a couple of years and heard the most stupid things... But... this is one story I will NEVER forget. Probably because it happened on my very first day:

An old man pays for his gear, but doesn't walk away from the register... He just stares at me for a couple of seconds and then he says (imagine a Grandpa Simpson whining voice):
-In '72... in '73... in '74... I was unable to ride my bike...
I'm thinking "*f##k*, he's gonna start whining". After staring back at him for almost a minute, I give up and ask, in my most empathic voice:
"How come?"
-I had some surgery done...
Now I'm thinking "Yep, now I'm really *f##k*, he's gonna start complaining about all his diseases, accidents and how his wife left him..." So I stare back at him for a minute, hoping he will go away. But then I give up, I sigh, and I say:
"Ow no, nothing serious I hope?" And then he continues his story about
Even though I try very hard to remember the self hypnosis course I took on how to ignore old people, for almost half an hour I can hear him talk about:
And all the time I'm thinking... where is the hidden camera? :mrgreen:

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Location: VIC, Australia

by tcurtbike

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by vdrey

I didn't know they could recall stupid people.

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by mattyNor

Customer came into the store asking if we carried Cervalo (not a typo that's how he pronounced it) and I asked, "sorry do you mean Cervelo?" He responds with, "No it's Cervalo you know that big Italian brand everyone rides these days." I struggle to tell him no without bursting into laughter :D

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by wingguy

Mispronouncing made up words is fine, and Cervelo is a French/Italian portmanteau word. The thing I really don't get is that almost daily I hear people asking where they can find the Jee-ont Deffie.

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Location: Here, there and everywhere

by DanW

To be fair Cervelo has an accent on the second "e" and if he had just wandered in looking for one without knowing anything about bikes you should carry the brand and have just taken the easy several thousand Euro and laughed at the bank instead :D

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by mattyNor

@Wingguy yea we've gotten that to.

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Location: YYZ

by mellowJohnny

Had my crank (SRAM Red) tightened today and after picking up the bike I asked the owner (who happened to be wrenching in the back) what tool I can use in the future so I can do the work myself.

He says "there is no tool". I said "what? what are talking about?". He says "it's knowledge". Still not quite able to follow I said "what are talking about?". So he says "you don't ask your dentist how he fixes your teeth, do you?" So I'm thinking "shit, really? This is where you're going with this?"

At the end of it he says some customer mangled his fingers on a fixie trying to apply the "knowledge" he gave him when the kid asked how to fix something. So his dad came back and said he wanted to sue. Now he doesn't tell anyone how to do anything.

So he's maybe got a bit of an angle...but really? That's the answer you give a customer when he asks you what tool you need? I guess they'll just stop selling tools now ;-)

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Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 3:42 am
Location: Quebec

by dofman

Sorry, but If you need to ask him what tools is needed to tight a crank, then clearly he was right..

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