1 Disk Brakes - everyone knows DBs are an unnecessary travesty for road, why couldn't we just be happy with rim brakes? These monstrosities (2 per bike and with matching calipers) have forced everyone to buy new frames. We never had issues with braking in the rain and guess what with DB we still don't - what's the improvement? We never had issues with the aluminium rim brake track wearing away and now that we use a steel disk it has to be measured for thickness.
2 wide tyres - the 22mm tubular used to be mega wide and only needed 100psi. This was luxury cycling compared to the standard (and even faster) 19mm racing tyre. It took years *years* for 23mm wide tyres to become accepted. But look at road bikes now 28mm wide tyres are standard on new bikes and people want more, there is some talk of 32mm wide tyres in daily use, on the road! Cling to your 22mm tubs, you know they are fastest.
3 UDH - this monstrosity from mtb is said to be coming to road cycling with its stiff structure and accurate RD placement. But it looks like a scaffolding around your rear dropout, surely a travesty in the road world. Rebel I say, rebel against the UDH and embrace the flexible RD friend living on your dropout to keep your frame safe.
4 dinner plate sized cassettes - why does anyone want easy gears to ride an Alp? This defies all comprehension. A 24t bottom gear is fine for all but the steepest gradients and then you can always get off and walk. But instead our rear wheels are blighted with these heavy and mostly non-titanium dinner plates. I can't look anymore - there are 36t cassettes available now for road, almost as big as the wheel, it'll surely affect cornering.
5 wireless derailleurs and brifters - we cannot trust the radio wave to deliver gear shifting messages fast enough, wires are what we need I tell you. More wires and also junction boxes to sooth the wires in times of stress, not complex wireless protocol and those radio waves, they get lost you know. Better yet dispense with electricity and go back to tensioned cables, they work well even with 13 speed, Campy does it you know.
6 press fit bottom brackets - a creaky thorn in our collective side for many years, thankfully the industry is turning back to threaded bottom brackets with their extra weight and the need for strange bevelled fitting tools. Oh yes.
7 OD2 steerers - everyone knows steerers have to be OD1. Why make something bigger and more robust? Then there are the aero losses, I can't even bear to mention the aero lossless. We can't use our favourite stems and have to go shopping at Giant, it's undignified and must stop. Luckily OD2 is not widespread, maybe the industry has seen sense.
8 aero tubes - Some say they look good, but let's face it, classic round tubes are always best. Heavy and uncomfortable, aero tubes have blighted the cycling industry for decades, promising speed gains but deliering less watt savings than a pair of well made shoe covers. Even Specialized, often the bellwether of cycling trends, has conceded defeat and discontinued its Venge before going back to a round downtube on the SL8.
9 TT bikes and aero bars - what are these things? Surely they are not bicycles as most human beings understand them? With strangely shaped frames (for what space travel?) and optional bento box attachments (if I want a sushi takeaway I will call Deliveroo). And don't get me started on aero bars. Looking like the antennas of a large insect, they are of no use for steering a bike on the road and just as poor at communicating with the alien life which brought them to earth, for surely no human would be daft enough to conceive them. I often see desperate folk trying to guide these monsterous contraptions down the mostly straight road between Chertsey and Shepperton, failing to avoid squirrels jumping out of the nearby trees in terror as they roar past.
10 non round steerer tubes - this trend in applying D shapes and other weird shapes to steerer tubes will not end well. For generations cyclists lived in peaceful coexistence with round steerers, safe in the knowledge their loading forces will be distributed well. Then integrated cables came along and dilittante manufacturers started to offer 'solutions' involving space saving D steerers and other weird shapes. How irresponsible. We all know how easy it is to crack a round carbon steerer, because manufacturers have told us it is and we need to use a torque wrench to tighten the stem. Now some have made steerers that are unround and therefore much easier to break. What do we use now to tighten our stems, a feather? Reject this faulty idea I tell you and insist on the primacy of round steerers again.
BONUS 11 hookless rims - I dread to think who thought this was a good idea. What I understand even less is why some people on this forum (admittedly not many) defend a technology which removes the sacred hook. These people can read and write, but fail to understand it is only the hook which keeps them safe in times of danger, like hitting a pothole, or when too much sun shines on their tyres.
Yeah, I thought so.......
