Poseur Test!

Questions about bike hire abroad and everything light bike related. No off-topic chat please

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Which of the following identifies you?

Poll ended at Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:00 pm

Not a Poseur - I don't ride anything fancy, nor wear fancy kit, and I'll drop your ass never the less
15
17%
Micro Poseur - I clearly have a name brand tall sock collection, but I don't ride or wear anything fancy
12
14%
Total Poseur - I ride a fancy bike, everything is stealth black, and I think I could be photographed for the Rapha website
31
35%
Pro Poseur - I don't ride anything fancy, but I wear pro team kits and I (think :roll: ) I look the part
0
No votes
Super Pro Poseur - I ride a fancy bike, and I wear pro team kits and I (think :roll: ) I look the part
1
1%
Mega Pro Poseur - I ride a Pro Team bike, I wear Pro team Kits and I (think :roll: ) I look the part
3
3%
Mary Mother of God Super Pro Poseur - I have Chris Froome's bike, wear team Sky kits and hot damn, I (think :roll: ) I look the part
2
2%
Fancy Poseur - Any sub-set or combination of Poseurism - Your know who you are Buddy!!
19
22%
King of All Poseurs - All hail the King - Buy me a muffin at the Coffee Shop!! Make that Two Muffins for @Calnago
5
6%
 
Total votes: 88

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Rich_W
Posts: 1869
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 1:31 pm
Location: On an Island 6 Miles at Sea. Move over Swanson, I'm drivin...

by Rich_W

:smartass: Want to dedicate a thread to the art of being a Poseur. Several levels can be achieved. :smartass:

Disclaimer: Yes, this is obnoxious and yes, this pokes fun at cyclists. Also note any level of Poseur can be a Weight Weenie - keeping that topic separate - any type of bike can have thoughtful modifications making it lighter and improving performance.

Don't think I can make multiple poll choices, however multiple levels can be achieved. So feel free to editorialize any responses, anything I've missed or simply berate me. Thank you in advance for participating in this scientific study. :lol:

Some definitions:

Your Team Kit - Wearing kit that belongs to a team or club you actually (or formerly) belong to
Fancy Kit - Examples: Rapha, MAAP, SACO7, Ten Speed Hero, Hunter Bros, etc., etc...
Pro Team Kit - Wearing kit belonging to a current or former Professional team, that you clearly are not a part of: SKY, BMC, USPS, Mapei, etc.
Fancy Bikes - Examples: Poseurello, Colnago, AX Lightness, etc... If your bike costs more than $10k USD
Pro Team Bikes - Same as above, but with a team specific paint scheme
Pro Rider Bikes - Same as above but with a paint scheme celebrating a specific pro rider

Please answer the above Poll, and then comment which category below you fall in.

• Slim – I am a fit and disciplined athlete/racer, I maintain a training program and nutrition regimen
• Average Joe - I am fit and reasonably fast, but not totally disciplined, and you just enjoy cycling
• Beast - I am semi fit, definitely need to loose 10 pounds, I'm still fast on the flats, I drink plenty of beer and I get dropped like a bomb on any climb

Optional Selections

• Millennial with a Man-Bun
• I have Tattooed Sleeve(s) or Leg(s) and I post pictures of my muscular legs with my shorts rolled up on Instagram

- - - - - - - -
* And yes, my avatar is a douchebag if anyone was wondering :idea:
** If this thread offends you, suck it up and answer anyway :arrow:
Last edited by Rich_W on Thu Jan 25, 2018 9:25 pm, edited 8 times in total.

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Rich_W
Posts: 1869
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 1:31 pm
Location: On an Island 6 Miles at Sea. Move over Swanson, I'm drivin...

by Rich_W

I used to be a Slim Not a Poseur, I've morphed into an Average Joe Micro Poseur as my tall sock collection is now becoming quite impressive.

wingguy
Posts: 3822
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2012 11:43 pm

by wingguy

Ahh dammit, I don't quite fit!

I'm definitely some kind of poseur, I ride a Poseurvelo and high-end clothing but no stealth black, tall socks or pro-team kit. Although our actual team kit this year is a blatant rip off of Sunweb so I suppose I'm going to look like a Pro-Team poseur out on the road :lol:

And I'm lucky enough to look like a slim and fit racer without actually being disciplined enough to get results :P

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Rich_W
Posts: 1869
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 1:31 pm
Location: On an Island 6 Miles at Sea. Move over Swanson, I'm drivin...

by Rich_W

wingguy wrote:
Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:12 pm
Ahh dammit, I don't quite fit!
Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I apparently did not document the full spectrum of Poseurism. I modified the poll just for you! :smartass:

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ms6073
Posts: 2406
Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2004 8:24 pm
Location: Houston, Texas

by ms6073

Do Swiftwick Sevens (white or black) and/or Panache's socks fall under the guise of a 'name brand' tall sock collection?
Michael - The Anaerobic Threshold is neither...

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themidge
Posts: 526
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:19 pm
Location: Auld Reekie

by themidge

I'm 15, ride a B'twin and a Vitus 979 and can drop most of the mamils I come across in Edinburgh, what does that make me?
:hello:
Cannondale Supersix 2008 (weight: 7.3kg)
B'twin Triban 540 (in bits)
Vitus "Benotto" 979 (weight: :? )

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tymon_tm
Posts: 2358
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2006 4:35 pm

by tymon_tm

:lol:

almost Millienial (bun's not there yet, give me a couple of weeks) Average Joe+ (dropping to being dropped ratio 9-1, heck, maybe even 19-1) meets hardly Super Pro/Not a Poseur combo (ride a team bike, although not team spec-ed, don't wear team kits, only national one - and not that often anymore)

and my avatar represents the core values of cycling - proper tan lines. does it add extra points?

edit: I don't even use a bike computer - is there a special category for that?
kkibbler wrote: WW remembers.

DurianGrey
Posts: 39
Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:57 pm

by DurianGrey

I suppose I'm a Micro, but it strikes me that lots of posing is relative.

I feel like there is a much higher bar to clear for Total Poseur status in say, the bay area or socal, versus somewhere less dense and monied.

DurianGrey
Posts: 39
Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:57 pm

by DurianGrey

That said, amongst my friends I'm the King :lol:

benzebub
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu May 07, 2015 1:24 pm

by benzebub

:lol: I'm in between micro and total poseur, I don't ride a fancy bike but do wear the occasional rapha kit

def a beast
But I could be wrong

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prendrefeu
Posts: 8609
Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:32 pm
Location: Los Feliz, Los Angeles, California
Contact:

by prendrefeu

Not-a-poseur.
Exp001 || Other projects in the works.

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dgasmd
Posts: 1300
Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:10 am
Location: South Florida

by dgasmd

themidge wrote:I'm 15, ride a B'twin and a Vitus 979 and can drop most of the mamils I come across in Edinburgh, what does that make me?
Makes you an angry young man that is jealous of mamils and a “posseur wannabe” LOL......:

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dgasmd
Posts: 1300
Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:10 am
Location: South Florida

by dgasmd

prendrefeu wrote:Not-a-poseur.
Nah.....you are just still in the closet LOL......ImageImage

It’s all good. We all are. It’s a matter of degrees.

I’m super fat, ride super expensive and good bikes I can barely pedal faster than a beach cruiser, have more tools than a Ferrari shop, and use all assos stuff only! All fits me well, makes me look better than I am, and I’m hurting nobody with it. What’s the downside to it again?Image🤪Image

Vermu
Posts: 211
Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2010 6:39 am

by Vermu

Good looking and matching kit with the bike makes you go faster.
Why not look good doing it?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

AJS914
Posts: 2002
Joined: Tue Jan 28, 2014 6:52 pm

by AJS914

I'm between Micro and Total but I don't have any fancy socks. I have a C59, a mint vintage C40, and an S-Works Crux but I bought them all used at deep discount. I have a hodge podge of Castelli and Pearl Izumi but refuse to pay full price and I'd never pay Rapha prices. I typically snag stuff off season or on ebay for half off. I have always ridden Campagnolo* and look down on 105 or Ultegra but I'd try Dura Ace or Di2 if it fell out of the sky or came to me with some incredible bike deal.


*I realize that liking Colnagos with Campagnolo defines me a certain type of poseur but I'm not one of those guys that will take the all Italian thing to an extreme. With sports cars I'm more of a Porsche guy than a Ferrari guy.

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