everyones sit bones are different. i think you're on the right track of finding one that works for you. i went through the same motions...trying several different ones. maybe you should investigate buying into a demo saddle program where you can try several at one time for a fee...then, once you settle on one, get reimbursed the amount you spent on the demo process. well worth it.
Yes you're right it's difficult to ask for an advice as we all are different, I just don't have the possibility to get into a demo program where I live as you suggest, so I may be buying 2 saddles that come close to my previous ones. I'm just tired of using ugly chunky saddles as I'm sure there's one out there that doesn't look ugly and isn't an anker.
I belong to the people who rather have a bit a heavier saddle but be comfortable on longer rides which makes more than up to the little weight gaining, but I think there should be a saddle in the 200-isch gram zone that should do the trick.
I noticed that for my piercy sit bones the best saddle is one with a bit of extra padding that is not soft or else it won't work, like gel is too soft, needs to be sort of a harder foam where my bones can stick into it and stay there