Frames
Me: So, what is the difference between this frame and that one, other than about £200?
Salesguy: Well that one has a sloping top tube so it's a much more relaxed geometry, gives a better ride etc.
Me: So what exaclty makes it more relaxed? According to the brochures those bikes both have 73.5 degree seat tubes.
Salesguy: The top tube
Me: Really, I always thought the top tube just joined up the seat and head tubes, and that the seat and head tube angles are what made it more / less relaxed, and on those bikes they are the same.
Salesguy: Oh, well I don't know much - I haven't done product training on road bikes. I just ride my MTB.
Me: AAaaargh.

Lights
Me: I am thinking about getting a brighter light than my commuting lights. What do you recommend?
Saleslady: We don't have anything.
Me: Well what about those 2 under your hand through the glass counter?
Saleslady: Oh yeah, these are great. They're much brighter than normal ones and last for ages. Stops talking, stands still and looks at me.
Me: Well, can I have a look at them?
Saleslady: Reaches under the counter, switches on the lights so that they shine in my eyes, stands up again
Me: They're shining in my eyes
Saleslady: I was just showing how bright they are
Me: (turned round) Well they're blinding me. Perhaps you could get them out from under the counter so that I can look at them?
Saleslady: OK
Me: What is the difference between this one and that one?
Saleslady: Well I have no idea. JOHN, can you come and serve this customer
John arrives and starts lots of moderately informed babble about the lights. He recommends I go to one of their bigger stores to try a broader range. I agree I will go elsewhere.

Where did this occur? Let's just say one of the largest London chains. What drives me nuts is that sales people can't be bothered to acquire basic knowledge about the products they want to shift. Training is one thing, but reading the brochures then being able to look at 2 frames and say 'this one has round tubes and this one has oval' then read the stickers on the frame aint rocket science. Yes the products are complicated and you can't be expected to know everything, but basic competence is needed.

Seems like the wrong people are working in these stores - people who want to earn £10 per hour for doing as little as possible and don't really ride bikes themselves.

A good mate and also a lurking weenie goes into a bike shop in London as he's got a crit Surrey league race the next day and needs to replace a punctured Tub, it's kind of a last chance type of thing but he thinks......hell, it's Evans, the biggest bike shop chain in the London area right?.....so I'll give it a go.
Glenn, "Hi, I'm looking for a tube of Tubular tyre glue?"
Spotty Kid, "UUUUH? Yeah....what about a puncture repair kit....that's got glue in it?"
Glenn, "Sorry mate, I think you got the wrong end of the stick, I need GLUE to stick on a TUBULAR tyre......do you know what a tub tyre is????"
Spotty kid, "Oh yeah...of course, what you need is a puncture repair kit?"
Glenn, NO....not a puncture repair kit a TUBULAR glue or Tub tape?
Spotty kid, "I think I should get the manager"
Manager comes over, very nice guy and extremely customer freindly.
Manager, "So you need some tubular glue?"
Glenn, "Yes"

Manager, "You need a puncture repair kit"
Glenn, "NO, sorry mate, but I need some Tubular tyre adhesive"
Manager, "How about a seperate tube of puncture repair glue?....only a couple of quid?"
Glenn, "Look mate, I need a different product TUBULAR TYRE ADHESIVE, it's for gluing on Tubular road tyres onto tubular rims?....you know?"
Manager, "Oh yeah......Hold on for a minute, I'll get the wrench guy"
Glenn, "OK, no worries"
Wrench, "So you want some glue?"
Glenn, "Yes mate, some Tubular road tyre glue to stick tubs onto tub rims"
Wrench looks in total puzzlement........."A what?"
Glenn, "You Know?....Glue the type of thing that Continental make to glue on the tubulars that you have on the hook over there"
Wrench, "OH YEAH!....what you need is a puncture repair kit.....it's got glue in it"
Glenn, "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a tube of Tubular glue"
Wrench comes out with an old tube of Tub glue from about 1950 without a lid, it became a solid mass in 1952 and has been lurking in a toolbox ever since.
Wrench, "I've got this......old mech left it here a few years ago"
Glenn, "Whatever mate...........I've gotta go before I end up physically abusing someone"

And the Olympics are coming here?
God help us and Evans cycles.......... .
People wonder why most people in the London area buy their stuff from the internet and laugh when they pass Evans....
Rob.

and this is why Condor is the busiest bike shop in the UK... and can charge full RRP...

Silliest thing I heard was the Manager at Condor telling me that they don't sell "Campy" and then proceeded to teach me how to pronounce Campagnolo... over and over again. No, he wasn't joking.

Just let me pay for my friggin brake cable and get me out of here!!