The stupidest thing you've heard at a bike shop...

[Camilo]

WD-40 fixes just about everything....................

Well, what it doesn't, duct tape will.

[piGuy]

"You should pump your tires up to 140 psi"

[iamalex]

Have you got any FSA headset spares, looking for a new top cap with a lower stack height?
Don't bother, I recommend you sell the frame and buy another one here in six weeks when we've got them in stock.

Erm...

[thewatchtech]

Me: I can't tell from the package, will this pressure gauge work on both types of valves?
Techie: Yeah, it'll work on normal ones and the other type.
Me: You mean Presta?
Techie: That's it dude!

[Roeboe]

"DT spokes don't fit a mavic open pro rim", just because they had no sapim spokes...

[wingguy]

Me: I can't tell from the package, will this pressure gauge work on both types of valves?
Techie: Yeah, it'll work on normal ones and the other type.
Me: You mean Presta?
Techie: That's it dude!

To be fair, when you get enough blank looks from enough customers you've said the words 'presta' or 'schraeder' to, you just start to assume that anyone who needs to ask about compatibility probably doesn't know what they're called.

[ticou]

As I was perusing the carbon lovelies in my LBS, moolah dripping like honey from my wallet..'No sir, your better off with our steels'

Hang on, that was one of the cleverest things I've ever heard in a bike shop.

[sleepingmenace]

I think the worst I've heard yet, was the suggestion being made to a young lady buying a fairly high end, all carbon road bike. The salesman at a large London bicycle chain store told her to "take something like a metal scribe, and scribe around her carbon seatpost at the point just above the seat post clamp, that way, when she has to remove the seat, she can put the post back in to the exact same depth. " .. as she was leaving the store afterwards, I did mention to her that scribing the carbon fibre, especially at a stress point like that could potentially lead to cracking, etc.. and was told to mind my own business since the other bloke worked at a bike shop, and obviously knew much more about bikes than I did.

Oh well..long live Darwinism....

[rustychisel]

you guys should realise the following:

etc etc etc

I think that the best equivalent to all of this is food. The food you get in a restaurant is designed to be prepared en masse, then portioned and plated to order - it's great food, normally done consistently. Weightweenies are like enthusiastic home cooks - they spend hours slaving over long recipes that are simply not commercially viable. Is the end result any better - sometimes yes, mostly no. It is certainly more expensive and time consuming, definitely gives the cook (or rider) a sense of satisfaction - but is usually not done to consistent standards. When done badly it is dangerous. I draw the same analogy with 'bike fits' - there are a lot that are done poorly, and many of them offer conflicting advice.

In essence, the stupidest thing i've ever heard at a bike shop, or any shop is still 'the customer is always right'.

A late entry in this, since I just read this thread. lol and loved what I read. Could let sleeping dogs lie, but really, Ozrider and the others deserve to be taken a little more seriously.

TD, sorry, you know nothing of what you write, you admit you've never been to this bike shop and don't even know which one is being discussed.

the shop under discussion is well known, and anecdotally does not enjoy a high reputation, even though occasionally some good people work there.

Some years ago: I wandered in with a credit card, shopping for a new bike, had up to 10k burning a hole in my pocket. Examined Looks, Colnago, etc for 25 minutes, even going so far as to lift framesets off their pegs to examine them, stood by the counter for the last 10 minutes and was completely ignored by everyone in the shop. If you'd been there you would actually know how many floor staff they purportedly have. I left, the service was non-existent so I had played the waiting game. I've never been in there since.

Prior to that: needed to check out something for my partner's bike (can't remember, maybe it was a Campagnolo crankset...). After about 5 minutes a shop rat walked over to serve me, when I asked what I recall was a quite reasonable question (IIRC) he said 'Dunno mate, I do mountain bikes. I'll see if one of the roadies can serve you.' After waiting another 5 or 10 minutes I walked out.

The points under discussion bear no relationship to your tortuous food analogy, none whatsoever.

[SolidSnake03]

"Those Red Shimano Cleats are just a different color"

[brearley]

looking at it from another view point, when i was working in a bike shop a customer comes in

customer: do you have any stands
me: yes what type of stand are you after
customer: a bike stand
me: well we have workshop stands, bike stands, kids bike stands
customer: can i speak to someone who knows what they're talking about

the guy comes in admittedly not having a clue what he's talking about I gave him an answer to witch he looked non the wiser and then went to speak to someone else.

[tonytourist]

My LBS gives me a headache every time I go in there
Just today my friend told me that he had the shop mechanic tell him he could put a GXP crankset in his BB30 bike, but that the reducers would have to be glued into the frame and are impossible to remove

[xcnick]

I went into a large bike shop wanting to buy some rollers.
Do you have any rollers in stock?
The kid looked through his fringe at me blankly.
You know, training rollers for training on indoors, like you would do on a turbo trainer, pointing to a turbo trainer behind him.
Erm, no we don't sell the rollers seperately, just a complete turbo trainer.
I walked out.

[MisterNoChain]

looking at it from another view point, when i was working in a bike shop a customer comes in

Same experience

customer: i need a crank
me: Road bike, City bike, etc?
customer: City bike
me: Do you have it with you, still then there are a lot of types ...
customer: yes yes, here it is (laying in on the desk) but i forgot if this is the right or the left crank
Me:

[djwalker]

Just today my friend told me that he had the shop mechanic tell him he could put a GXP crankset in his BB30 bike, but that the reducers would have to be glued into the frame and are impossible to remove

This is actually true for SRAM BB30 adapters. They are Loctite'd in place.