This is Mr. Cipollini you are describing.

43. When appearing in documentaries, one must walk around the hotel in your kit at all times and always be eating something in front of the camera.

That was my first thought.

I violate most of those rules. I wear black kit (excluding Phonak gear) but if it were white it would be Euro acceptable. And I listen to funk. What are the other kinds of cyclists though

I agree with the no padding rule.

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BMC SLC01

Visiting South West Australia? Visit Crank n' Cycles!

i actually obay (right word? ) most on that list, last year i was as white as possible, but it's hard with team kit

for the hair you forgot the euro-mullet (boonen, ekimov) and the flattop (zabel), other than that perfect

44. All stems must be a minimum of 120mm and a rise of no higher than -10degs(bonus euro points if stem is -17deg)

45. When asked "how are you?" while riding you must

Complain about coming off a sickness.
Explain you're peaking for bigger races later in the season
Mention that this is a "recovery ride"
That you are on the tail end of your (insert day of the week) 6 hour training ride

46. When training with a group you must whistle, hum, or sing on all climbs giving the impression that they are nothing.

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NOW WITH MORE FLAVOR THAN KOOL-AID!

I'm 129 lbs! How's that for light!

It is a facebook group. I'm one of the officer's. I find this one to be the best 7. Zipp's are to be used as training wheels ONLY. You shall race only on Lightweights and occasionally Bora's if no lightweights are accessible.

that's exactly what i do!

m-m-m-my sharonaaah! (ramones) to the great annoyance of those present

another great trick is to speed up till 50/u behind someone's back & just before you pass you grab your bottle & start drinking -while the other arm is resting on top of the handlebar. face expression: je ne sais quoi

yep gentlemen, i am a poser

True to the point, but now can someone please post the

THE OFFICIAL US CYCLIST CODE OF CONDUCT ?

This would very much interest me

US:

1. lightweights are not bad, but LEW's will be way better
2. Lance Armstrong is the best cyclist ever, and he rode on Merckx, thus Merckx not being a bad guy neither on a bike
3. Basso is half Italian / half American. He is suspended because some French doping lab
4. There has to be always one rusty litespeed in the garage
5. Hill climbs are the ultimate cyclist competition
6. Paris-Roubaix is ridden on cobbles dating back 2000 years ago
7. ...

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Bianchi EV3, Master Olympic, Pinarello Asolo

This should just about cover it.
1. US Cyclist must ride a bike including one of the following names (Cannondale, TREK, Specialized or Giant)
2. US Cyclist must often sport Black Cycling shorts with bright yellow Jersey or windbreaker with enough luminescence as to be seen for 5 miles on a foggy day.
3. Rearview mirrors are perfectly acceptable & preferably mounted on helmet.

Two choices if you are from the US

1. 30 year old IT professional on a Trek 1000, big gut, hairy legs, US Postal team kit
2. 50 year old stockbroker on a Litespeed, big gut, hairy legs, Disco team kit

Both have a white garage door and a well-worn copy of 'it's not about the bike'

HA! it's funny cos it's true.

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Winter Riding: Fenders are Fundamental

Ridley Damocles
SRAM Force

Do what Lance does.

Retire?